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A Throwback Christmas 🎄….

hi 🙋…. Yh I know it’s been a long time 😁

well I had back to back examinations and I’m finally done (to be honest I finished long ago but laziness has been flirting with me 😆😆)

so this is supposed to be my great comeback (LOL 😁 oboy dey come figa😆)

since Christmas is approaching I cooked up something for the season…😉

Enjoy…😇

A Throwback Christmas 🎄…

” Eeiii… See him ooo!!! I thought you said you wouldn’t celebrate Christmas since it’s a satanic festival”

I sat there so confused as mum’s words echoed in my mind and fell down my spine to the depths of my heart.
I didn’t know what I believed in anymore. Everything I thought I knew… Everything I believed in… Everything I had thought was right was actually so very wrong.
This was officially the worst Christmas ever…
I was confused…
I was broken…
I sat behind a feast with almost all the pieces of my broken family… Well today was the one day of the year that we could at least pretend to be Normal… Not anymore.
Christmas had been ruined… We were never going to be happy.
••••
I was born a Catholic… And I was probably supposed to die as one.
I had been baptized, I had accepted the sacrament of the holy Eucharist, I was in confirmation catechism… Until everything changed.
As a young kid I was thought to be very religious.
My mum was our Sunday school teacher… And a Charismatic Catholic… So despite all of the religious Catholicism I was exposed to charismatic Christianity too.
I remember when everything changed like it was only yesterday.
Tension at home was increasing… So dad sent my younger brother and I to a private boarding school to keep us away from the conflict.
I remember my first day in “Word of Faith Christian School”, the people seemed very nice. With time I felt out of place… Everything was different.
I was no longer allowed to wear shorts around… Since I was showing of my “nakedness”.
I remember loosing the things I was born to believe in…
Rosary prayers… Were seen as idolatry…
I wasn’t allowed to say hail Mary…
Everything was so different…
I remember holding hands with the other students and teachers… I remember us screaming… Just screaming without words… Just screams and Groans as prayers to a God who was supposed to know our hearts.
With time I got used to the new religious practices…
I remember me sharing stuff I had learnt at bible studies…
I remember pastor John allowing me to stand behind the pulpit and address the congregation before he delivered his sermon.
Well I was only in the sixth year of my basic education… I was about 10 years old.
Everyone in the school looked so perfect… They all seemed to be right with God…
I knew within my heart that I wasn’t so I tried my best to fit in… I remember looking out for people’s wrongs(just like everyone did)… I remember reporting my findings to the leaders… Well that was the system there. You find “sin” and expose it so we could be right with God.
One Friday night… We had about two weeks to go on Christmas vacation. I remember Christopher(our Guide) sat all of us down to tell us the “true reason” for Christmas.
He told us point blank… “Christmas is a Satanic Festival”
The festival was originally in honor of the sun god.
The Christmas tree was an idol that stood for the evergreen nature of the pine tree…
The holly leaves were a symbol of witchcraft…
So many horrible secrets.
I was confused…
I thought it was all about Jesus and the Three wise men… With gifts… Mary and Joseph…
This wasn’t about them… It was all about me.
This was the one season in the year that my family that was falling apart, would usually pretend to be a one happy family.
This was the day my fantasies became a reality…
The greatest Christmas gift then was that moment all five of us sat together at one table.
I heard testimonies from so many people at the gathering… They were all talking about the moment they came to a realization that it was just another day…
No!!! To me this was a magical day… The day angels walked on earth… The day I had a happy family.
I went home that vacation a totally confused being… I didn’t know what I believed in anymore…
I told my mum about it… She said so many things… I got more confused…
I remember praying to a God who I thought didn’t even hear me… I didn’t know if I was praying to the catholic God or the “Word of Faith” God,I wasn’t even sure if they were the same God… I wasn’t even sure if there was a God… Well if there was one he probably didn’t care about me.
I remember making up my mind…
I remember getting up to go join in the feast… I remember concluding that God didn’t care… He took away our happiness and now the little magical moments we had celebrating a festival in honor of your son, you want to take that away too…
I remember going to sit down behind a plate of rice and chicken…
” Eeiii… See him ooo!!! I thought you said you wouldn’t celebrate Christmas since it’s a satanic festival”
And mum just had to remind me of how broken and confused I was…
I remember weeping…
•••••
I look back at that Christmas…
I look back at that moment in my life, and I realized how far I’ve come  spiritually…
I look back and realize how I’ve evolved from religious practices and doctrines.
I quite remember meeting some of my old mates from Word of Faith in Senior High school. I remember telling the guy that my life in the school was all an act.
He told me point blank that I didn’t do anything wrong… While I was battling my own little demons, the boys and girls in my class used to meet up and smooch each other under the cover of darkness.
He told me that certain older students who I used to look up to were seriously addicted to weed and sex… He told me that they used to jump the wall and go to the town to satisfy their addictions.
Religion is dead…
I had to come to a realization that God was bigger and better than any Church…
The church is imperfect… I’m imperfect and that’s why Christ’s blood was shed…
I had realized that true worship is bigger than doctrines and penances and religious practices…
True worship is bigger than singing slow songs and calling them worship and fast once being called praises.
True worship was beyond Music Genres… Even if it meant in audible screams and groans… True worship did not follow a particular pattern… Each experience is new.
True worship is a journey… A life style… Constantly being in commune with the Spirit of God that created you, and allowing that spirit to guide you…
True worship cannot be contained or measured… True worship was impossible.
Well basically we’re nothing like God…
So God in his own will sent his Own, to die for an undeserving species, to attain for all their imperfections so they can come to him freely…
What I’m saying is true worship simply means… If your legs weren’t good enough to serve God, Christ is your new legs… Come…
True worship doesn’t need you to be perfect…. Our perfections are imperfect… True worship needs you to come as you are.
And the only thing that hinders you from this…
Is…
You…
You’ll have to kill yourself just like Christ did… So that he lives in you…
True worship needs you to make great sacrifices for a God that gave his all to have you back…
True worship is love….
And that’s what Christmas is all about…
It doesn’t matter the origins…
Forget the past…
And live in the moment…
The reason for the season is Christ…
So this Christmas… We’re giving Christ to the Masses.

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Author:

Spoken word artiste, Lyricist, writer, actor, radio show host.... Basically out of the abundance of my Art 🎨 you hear my heart ❤ speak

6 thoughts on “A Throwback Christmas 🎄….

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