2017:A deep Freezer,Soggy Pawpaw and Panda 🐼 Vs Suicide…

I’ve never been a fan of New year resolutions, well they’re mostly crappy… Empty and don’t work…
A recent incident happened and I consider it as the perfect imagery of how crappy new year resolutions can be( here goes nothing…).
So daddy enters the kitchen with freshly harvested pawpaw.(fast forward it a bit😄)
So I ate one and it was just the way I like it hard and crunchy… (I only eat pawpaw that’s hard and crunchy…. If I don’t hear grrr grrr while chewing I can’t swallow…)
All my pawpaws have to be hardguys( this sounds so wrong 😅)
The following day I wanted to eat another pawpaw…
Well he looked like a hard guy… Crunchy and all that… (I feel awkward referring to my food as he)
It even felt solid…
So I peeled it up( I actually want to say “stripped him naked” but it sounds very gay so let’s stick with peeled…)
The moment I bit into it… It was all soft and yucky and gooey… To be honest I felt betrayed…
And then I did the dumbest thing I’ve ever done… ( well it’s not necessarily the dumbest… It’s the dumbest I could remember at the moment…)
I put the pawpaw in a deep freezer with the hopes that the cold ice will solidify the wretched thing😂… The pawpaw came out very soggy and sloppy in the end.
Yhup… This is how crappy I see new year resolutions…
Bitting into something you can’t chew… Subject it to severe conditions with the hopes of changing it and finally discarding it in the end because it’s all messed up…
Anyway…
Earlier in the year I read an interesting blogpost from one of my blogging mentors… https://readefining.wordpress.com
The title of the post was Seeking Honey.
Elaine spoke about her practice of picking a word that will define her steps for the whole year…
Her word for 2016 was seek, her word for this year is sow.
As 2016 was coming to an end, I was really thinking deep about the word to use…
I’ve got a word now. My word for the year is suicide…
I was stuck between two words before I selected suicide.
I was thinking either Suicide or Panda 🐼(don’t blame me designer’s song is very catchy… Panda panda panda😅😅😅)
Now to why I picked suicide over panda. I think it bores down to the path I’m seeking in life…
To me Panda is a very deep symbol (it can be read as P and A where P=pressure and A= Area, so to calculate the mass per Unit Area you need to apply pressure to… I’m definitely not going anywhere positive with this one 😆😆😆😆  alright let’s get serious)
Panda is a Symbol of What Humanity was meant to be… Beautiful.
1.Pandas are black and white. We can’t do without each other… Blacks and Whites make up humanity just like a Panda’s fur.
2.Pandas are bears but are very calm animals only aggressive when provoked… Very similar to the biblical advice;be sharp as a snake gentle as a dove.
3.Pandas always have teary faces. The area around their eyes are mostly wet like they’ve been crying… Pain is always going to be part of our lives, pain makes us stronger… A painless life is not worth living.
4. Pandas are loners but they appreciate company… The animal is an endangered species. There aren’t many of them around so we can’t see them in packs. But the few that exist appreciate each other. We’re all we’ve got, we need each other, unity is power.
Now with Suicide, the word literally means to take one’s life. When I say Suicide I mean dying to self so I can rise with him.
This has been a recurring theme in most of my pieces…
In my quest to uplift people with good lyrics this whole idea of dying to self keeps recurring.
Most of my pieces are divinely inspired… After hours of deep thinking and meditating.
I’ve realized that life is not necessarily about me…
I’m just a character, the story Continues when I’m gone…
Most people don’t know this but I’ll admit… Anytime I get behind a microphone, it’s like a soul sacrifice… A part of me dies so that He can live in my lyrics…
Right now I feel I’ve reached a point where the only thing holding me back is myself…
So I kinda have to purge myself from me, so I could have more of him.
So for 2017, I’m living life knowing that it’s not about me… It’s a whole new bigger picture…
I admit I’m broken, but broken crayons still color…
What word will you pick?
Feel free to leave a comment( and please don’t say Panda😆 that will be plagiarism.)

happy new year 😊

and yh… I know the title is horrible 😆